I live life according to my priorities, and my first priority is the wellbeing of all people. That is what I aim for, and it is the criteria for the decisions I make. I ask myself the question, “Is this course of action compatible with a world where everyone gets their needs met?”
I have studied a wide range of approaches to improving human relationships, searching for those that are most honest, effective and altruistic. I speak to audiences and consult with clients about how to make peace with others, with self, and how to build fairness and universal respect into policies that affect large groups of people.
There are three models I’ve practiced which steer relationships from the course of “worse-and-worse” and onto the path of “better-and-better”. My talks and private sessions are informed by these three similar models:
For communication and conflict resolution:
Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication, a process used in mediation which shifts the focus of dialogue from positions to underlying needs
For mental health:
The model of psychologist Dr. Amr Barrada, which involves recovering from emotional problems through practicing a less perfectionistic and more flexible style of self-talk
For addressing harm and creating group policy:
Restorative Justice, an approach to justice which addresses harm without creating new harm and establishes policies agreed to by everyone affected by them
My aim is to respect the time of my audiences and clients. I offer a glimpse into a worldview different from the counterproductive, win-lose paradigm most of us are enculturated into. My desire to make excellent use of clients’ time is balanced by the knowledge that serious human problems are complex, and real growth happens gradually with practice. I dialogue with clients about what I’ve learned, where I learned it, and how they can learn it too.