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TALKS
Have you ever been in an argument that seemed totally impossible to overcome? Had a tense conversation with someone, resulting in what feels like a slow-motion train wreck of a relationship? Sometimes it feels like we’re just screaming into the void with certain people. And when neither person is accurately heard, conflict is bound to happen. Egos bruised, the hearing aid battery is dead, and the stress is a huge pain in the neck. Ouch.
The wild thing is that nearly all our conflicts arise due to four key factors. Most of us were taught to communicate in a confusing and unclear sort of way- which is great if you’re trying to ruin relationships (RIP). It’s a chronic issue that starts off small and gets worse over time. Nobody is telepathic (at least not yet), so isn’t it a good idea to do our best to express ourselves clearly? When the surgeon asks for a scalpel they are not expecting a jackhammer!
That’s why triage is so important— we’ve got to start by assessing how, where and why the damage occurred. Let’s do some communication surgery and find out which of the four things lies at the heart of your conflict. When we can name the problem we have a better chance of using the right medicine.
TALK 1
The Anatomy of Conflict
TALK 2
The Nuts and Bolts of Loving Your Enemies
Jesus told us to love our enemies. Sounds good, boss! The thing is…this is actually a pretty radical message that isn’t often practiced in our world. Turns out it’s not so easy to follow in those footsteps (they are big sandals to fill).
Say you did want to practice it though- would you know how?
How can you follow the Golden Rule with people who aren’t doing the same for you? How can you offer grace to those you disagree with, without compromising your own values?
In this poignant and timely talk, we’ll look at tried-and-true conflict resolution principles and the relevance they have for people of faith. If you want to go beyond preaching to the choir and address differences in a meaningful and powerful way, book this presentation now.
Every day we navigate the challenging territory of resolving and preventing conflicts with the people in our lives. But sometimes we need to make peace with ourselves, too.
Many of the same things that help- and don’t help- to resolve friction with others also applies to how we talk to ourselves. Just like a seasonal shift in the weather, our emotional landscapes can be filled with harsh conditions. When we grasp tightly to a perfect ideal temperature, we are excluding the possibility of change- and holding the weather to a very impossible standard! That’s what it is like to expect perfection of ourselves at all times…impossible.
It is empowering to accept the fluctuations of one’s emotions, from gentle summer breeze to frosty chill. Rather than being at odds with each other, these two extremes actually provide a benefit to better knowing ourselves. Rather than what often feels like being “at war” with oneself, these hot and cold emotional experiences need resolution rather than one extreme “winning” over the other.
Emotional health is more a process of hearing the needs behind your feelings, rather than trying to force yourself to feel one particular way over another. You don’t need to fight yourself…you just need to learn how to listen.